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My mother was very neglectful of me when I was a, not out of malice but due to circumstances beyond her control. Niagara Falls when I was in high school Spent 3 weeks working in, make it back one day to visit World. Grand Canyon flew over it one time at 30, ' does that count?? Just horrid. Not SF's fault though.
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Done that. Such extraordinary places. I have forgiven her failings as a mother and reaped the rewards of a friendly loving relationship with her as family. I've been her primary caregiver in terms of emotional support, and it is really draining.
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There were times when I spoke on the phone with her every day for at least an hour for months at a time. Now it's about an hour every other day or every days. I used to visit weekly, and now visit once or twice a month.
We both set boundaries together. I asked her what she needed, and told her what I could provide. Then I helped her pick up the slack by ing on her other friends and relatives, and requesting that she do the same.
It took a while, and the process is still ongoing, but it's gotten much better since we can communicate. I understand that the OP not have the option of working through boundary setting WITH her mother, but she certainly is capable of communicating her boundaries TO her mother and standing by them when mother makes requests that go beyond those limitations.
Sorry you're hurting, and this IS a painful process but you CAN make it through this feeling better down the line. Who knows, mother even surprise you a bit by toning down her demands once she realizes they're not all going to be met. I can kinda go anywhere, and find a range of responses to just about anything from literature to sexual mores I do not subscribe to myself maybe it's the word itself?
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